I’ve always been one who has a hard time cutting ties with others when I should.
This is something I’m working on. It’s harder than I thought. Well —it was.
A friend of mine has been working with me on some techniques. And they seem to be working.
You have to “X” that person in your mind.
What do you mean? Like file them under the letter “X”?
No. Visualize that person in your mind. Now, put a RED ❌ over their face.He tells me to go through the scenario where the person ‘earned’ the ❌ but this time I’m too imagine not their face; but the ❌ where their face would be. I remind myself why the person has an “x”. In the future when I see this person, I’m not to be crass or act with contempt. Rather, I interact from a neutral place of peace.
See, the difference is I don’t try to remember the wrong while still involving them in my interpersonal relationships. Now they are just another body on this ball of mud. And they too have just as much a right to be here as anyone else. They just no longer serve toward the completion of my goals.
A person in my circle should be someone who believes in my dreams, supports my vision and collaborates with me in a positive manner.
Now I’m not saying that everyone I keep in my sphere will agree with me all of the time and vice versa. But that person definitely won’t put me down or negate my wishes on a regular basis. When this happens repeatedly; contrary to what you may have been told, it’s not their fault. It’s mine.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on —me!That’s right. Gone are the days of blame and resentment. We are grown ups now.
We live in an action world. If you don’t meet my needs as a friend or social acquaintance? It’s time to go!
No need to bother anyone with all the messy details. It is pretty ‘cut and dry’. Cut me down or don’t build me up? Bye bye.
Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Your life and success is YOURS!
Stop explaining yourself.My younger friend (should be years my senior, given the wisdom that flows from his spirit) reminds me. I need reminding. Repeatedly. And he is patient with me for which I am grateful.
So if you know who they are.
Oh come on. You know one or two people you are only friends with out of some obligatory ‘feeling’. You’ve “been friends since junior high” or “his wife of best friends with yours” Maybe this person hooks you up with box seats at your favorite team events every year.
How important are those seats in regards to your emotional and obligatory freedom?!
—THEY ARE NOT!!!
You’ll probably be able to afford the tickets in exchange for what you spent on antacids last year to treat the heartburn they caused!
So I’m practicing. And practice makes perfect. Hell, I don’t even care about perfecting this one. I’ll be happy with “a slight persistent effort”.
Change comes —when I take the action.